We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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