what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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