Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
