I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
