I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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