DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
