Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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