Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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