just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
