I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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