If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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