I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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