I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
