Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize