i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
