im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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