Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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