Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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