Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
