i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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