I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This is my gift to your gina
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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