weddingsv make me drug and hornr
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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