Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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