Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
