her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
