The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
