pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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