The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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