you guys were way drunker than both of me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
