We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
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U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize