Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize
