she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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