I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
