If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize