he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
