Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your penis caused this!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
