woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
