Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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