I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
