After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize