I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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