so that wasnt chicken after all
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
