i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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