Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
