I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
