I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
