Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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