it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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