I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
