Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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