I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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