my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
