Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
