i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
