is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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